Many people begin therapy hoping for meaningful change, but aren’t always sure how to make the most of the process. While a skilled therapist is important, what you do during and between sessions plays a critical role in your progress. The clients who get the most out of therapy do these things:
Find a therapist who has knowledge and experience in the areas you need. Therapists tend to have a few areas in which they specialize, which means they develop a lot of experience in those areas. Be honest with yourself about the issues you want to address and choose your therapist wisely.
Meet with your therapist regularly. You will benefit most by scheduling weekly at first. By meeting weekly, the two of you get to know each other quickly and can dig into the work. As you progress in therapy, you and your therapist could reduce the cadence of therapy to every other week and then monthly for maintenance.
Identify your goals. There might be several areas of your life that you would like to change. Talk with your therapist to determine which areas to focus on first. Goals can be large or small and can be broken down into smaller, achievable steps. As you make progress on a goal, you can start working on a new area of discomfort.
Be open, honest, and believe that you can change. Therapy works best when you are open, honest, and vulnerable with your therapist. Holding things back slows your progress. Therapy helps you to face some hard truths so that changes can be made. Commit to making small changes over time to become the person you want to be. Many of the thought patterns that helped you in the past may no longer serve you in the present. Being open to new perspectives can help guide you toward the person you want to become.
Do the homework between sessions. Make a plan at the end of each session of what you will do before the next session, and actually do it.
Educate yourself on your specific issue, disorder, or diagnosis. Read self-help books and listen to podcasts related to the issue. Become a life-long learner.
Use a journal. Your journal can serve as a place to reflect on the topics discussed in session and any thoughts or feelings that came up. It is also a great place to document your progress or struggles between sessions. Bring notes to therapy.
Practice the skills learned in therapy. Use the skills learned in therapy throughout your life at home, at work, and with friends. Journal about this practice and talk about it in therapy so you can see what worked and what didn’t so you can refine the practice and try again.
Reflect on the sessions. Take time after each session to reflect on the work you did. By reflecting on the work, you are solidifying it in your mind. Think of people and situations where you can use the new perspectives to make them work better for you.
Practice self-care. Self-care is personal to each person. Some basic categories of self-care include healthy eating, sufficient sleep, frequent movement, spending time in nature, connecting with others, engaging in hobbies, maintaining basic hygiene, and maintaining a tidy, organized home. By practicing self-care, you can lower your stress response and boost your energy and mood.
Set and maintain boundaries. Boundaries are a means of protecting your mental well-being, establishing mutual respect, and preventing burnout. Boundaries are not walls to keep people out; they are a means of clearly defining your personal limits and communicating to others how you want to be treated.
Be patient. Healing and personal growth take time. Healing requires identifying the areas that are no longer working for you, examining when and why you learned them, then choosing new ways of doing things. As you move along your healing journey, you can expect some successes and some setbacks. As you heal some areas, other areas of growth will likely surface.
Treat it as a partnership. Therapy is fundamentally a partnership—often called the "therapeutic alliance". You and your therapist are co-collaborators. While they bring clinical expertise, you are the leading expert on your own life. Together, you build trust, identify goals, and actively navigate your personal growth.
Therapy can be a transforming endeavor and a collaborative journey. Progress takes effort in and out of the therapy session. By being an active participant and making small changes over time, you will see your growth and transformation.